Give life meaning! An Antidote to Nihilism

Why I write this blog!

I was 20 years old, just finishing high school.

Lying in bed, screaming in pain.

I weighed only 38 kilo.

When I tried eating, every bite was a struggle.

I remember standing by the open window after meals, taking deep breaths to fight the nausea—only to lose again and again, vomiting everything I had forced myself to eat.

My mother warned me: If you don’t eat, you’ll waste away. You’ll have to be admitted to the hospital.

I didn’t want that.

I had my first operation at age 9, got diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and vividly remembered the helplessness, the pain.

I was angry - at the world, at my body, my mom, my dad - everything. I asked myself again and again - “Why me?”.

When you suffer, you wake up. You become aware.

You can try fighting it with drugs, medication, distractions - but at some point, the existential questions come knocking.

If there is a God—an all-knowing, all-powerful, all-present Being—how can He allow this?

What did I do to deserve this?

It was 100% clear to me, that the pain and suffering I was feeling was “bad”.

And I saw others suffering too. I could see the evil in the world.

This is Nihilism. And it is not the lack of meaning. Nihilism is not mere apathy.

It is the deep understanding that there is pain, suffering and evil and of course, these matter gravely.

But beyond them, there seemed to be nothing. No deeper purpose. No “good.” No meaning—except maybe escaping the pain.

And the logical conclusion? Numbing it all. With distractions, substances, or, eventually, death?

“One must give value to their existence by behaving as if one’s very existence were a work of art.” Friedrich Nietzsche

It was not one experience, one epiphany that helped me to change my view of life.

There were many.

There is an antidote to Nihilism and it is meaningful action.

Action you take towards something you see as valuable.

Ask yourself: What are you willing to die for?

"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." — William James

In this blog, I want to share what I learned over the years to help you overcome the challenges you face.

How…

• I learned to listen better to my body, to better protect my boundaries - physically and emotionally,

• I changed the way I talk to myself and learned that I can influence my thoughts.

• I stopped thinking myself unhealthy and unhappy.

• I learned to shape my future through vision planning.

• I understood the difference between drugs and medication.

• I learned how to live my life, so I don’t have to develop symptoms of crohn’s or chronic pain.

• I learned to free myself from severe back pain - although I still have a large protruded disk in my lumbar spine.

• I stopped smoking cannabis.

• I learned that there is more to life than pain.

…and more

I want you to know, that you are not alone in your struggle.

To get started - write “yes” in the comments and I’ll send you the “7 steps to start healing holistically from chronic pain”.

It is a journey that usually takes more than a few days, but that makes it even more important to start.