Scientists Say You Can Change Your Personality - Here’s How

Are You Stuck With Your Personality?

Many people believe that personality is set in stone.

You’re either introverted or extroverted, disciplined or lazy, neurotic or stable—and that’s just the way it is.

Sigmund Freud in 1900 thought that personality is pretty much fixed by the age 5.

William James, the famous American psychologist said in 1887 that personality is “set like plaster”.

That is what most people want to believe because then they not only don’t need to change - they can’t.

No responsibility has to be taken, no effort required.

What is left is to learn to love yourself, just as you are.

Right?

To decide, you should be very aware of the fact that there is a clear cost of believing that you can’t change.

The Cost of Believing You Can’t Change:

• You stop trying to improve because you assume change is impossible and that means you will continue suffering the same way you did until now

• You will attract the same type of personalities as your life partner or friends, as you did in the past

• You blame others - in the form of genetics, childhood experiences, or external circumstances for your own limitations.

• You get stuck in cycles of addictions, social anxiety / anger, or bad habits.

• You miss out on opportunities to grow, connect, and succeed.

The thing is, there is always a part of us that is not content, that is not willing and not able to love certain aspects of ourselves.

At some level, we all dream of becoming a better version of ourselves:

more energetic, more driven, more stable, less depressed or anxious.

The big question is:

Can We Actually Change?

Science says yes.

Research shows personality is more fluid than we once thought.

While broad traits may remain relatively stable, the behaviors, habits, and thought patterns that define your daily experience are completely within your control.

You are extroverted when you think and behave like an extroverted person would.

And your thought patterns and behaviors are influenced by everything you do.

You can repeatedly chose to act in certain ways, you can chose to meet certain people and you can chose to participate in certain activities.

Over time, you can change your habits and a person with different habits will develop a different personality.

This change only happens as a reaction to major life events or trauma…

If we don’t suffer, we have no reason to change.

How to change

1. Start by getting to know your current personality. The best way is to take a free Big 5 personality test: https://www.drsimlev.com/personality-test

   You will get a scientifically reliable description of your character on the 5 basic personality traits - (OCEAN)

   • Openness to Experience vs Closed-mindedness

     This trait reflects a person’s willingness to explore new ideas, experiences, and perspectives. People high in open-mindedness tend to be curious, creative, and imaginative, while those low in this trait prefer routine, tradition, and familiarity.

     Open-minded individuals are more likely to enjoy learning, appreciate art and abstract thinking, and adapt well to change.

     
     

   • Conscientiousness (Industriousness and Orderliness) vs Lack of Direction (Lack of Motivation and Disorder)

     This trait reflects a person’s level of organization, responsibility, and self-discipline. People high in conscientiousness are goal-oriented, dependable, and efficient, often excelling in structured environments where planning and persistence are required. They tend to be detail-focused, hardworking, and good at delaying gratification to achieve long-term success.

     On the other hand, individuals low in conscientiousness may be more spontaneous, disorganized, or prone to procrastination, often struggling with consistency and follow-through.

     
     

   • Extroversion vs Introversion

     Extroversion and introversion describe how individuals interact with the world and where they draw their energy.

     Extroverts are generally outgoing, talkative, and energized by social interactions. They thrive in group settings, enjoy meeting new people, and tend to be expressive and enthusiastic. Extroverts often seek excitement and external stimulation, preferring active, dynamic environments.

     Introverts, on the other hand, are more reserved, reflective, and energized by solitude. They often prefer deep, meaningful conversations over large social gatherings and may need time alone to recharge. Introverts tend to be more inward-focused, enjoying solitary or small-group activities and engaging in thoughtful observation before speaking or acting.

     
     

   • Agreeableness vs Disagreeableness

     Agreeable individuals are generally kind, compassionate, and cooperative. They prioritize maintaining good relationships, are trusting and considerate, and often go out of their way to help others. They tend to be warm, polite, and conflict-averse, valuing social harmony and emotional connection.

     Disagreeable individuals, on the other hand, are more skeptical, assertive, and competitive. They prioritize personal goals over group cohesion, are comfortable with confrontation, and may be more critical or blunt in their communication. They are less concerned with pleasing others and more focused on their own perspectives and interests.

     
     

   • Neuroticism vs Emotional Stability

     Highly neurotic individuals are more prone to anxiety, mood swings, and emotional reactivity. They often experience feelings of worry, frustration, or self-doubt and may be more sensitive to stress. They tend to overthink situations and struggle with uncertainty, sometimes reacting more intensely to challenges.

     Emotionally stable individuals, on the other hand, are generally calm, resilient, and able to manage stress well. They experience fewer mood fluctuations, recover quickly from setbacks, and tend to maintain a more balanced emotional state. They are less likely to feel overwhelmed by daily stressors and are often more optimistic and composed.

If you answered truthfully, the results will not surprise you - it will describe how you are right now - your personality.

1. Your future Self.

   Think about how you would like to be in 4 years. Make it very real and vivid and you have to write it down. Try to avoid negative descriptions: Instead of writing - “I don’t want to be shy and neurotic”

   you could write: “I want to be more extroverted and more emotionally stable”

   Be specific: What job do you have in 4 years?What type of clothes do you wear? What hobbies to you have? How do you talk to people? What places do you go to?

   
   

2. Start acting like this future “you”

   This is not “Fake it until you make it” as you are really changing your actions.

   A brave person is allowed to be afraid, allowed to have doubts but what makes him a hero are his actions!

   Adopt certain habits, daily mini-routines, hobbies to change your behavior according to the change you want to achieve:

   
   

   A) Ways to improve Openmindedness -

   • Traveling & new experiences – Kaufman (2013)

   • Multicultural exposure – Leung et al. (2008)

   • Perspective-taking & debating opposite views – Galinsky et al. (2006)

   • Creative activities (music, art, writing) – Feist (1998)

   • Learning new skills & novelty-seeking – Hudson & Fraley (2015)

   • Mindfulness & meditation – Hanley et al. (2014)

   • Reading literary fiction – Kidd & Castano (2013)

   • Watching documentaries & intellectual content – Stanovich & West (2007)

     
     

   B) Ways to improve Conscientiousness

   • Journaling to track progress & habits – McCrae & Löckenhoff (2010)

   • Mindfulness & self-regulation training – Dahl et al. (2015)

   • Caring for plants or pets – Lodi-Smith & Roberts (2007)

   • By Setting and achieving small goals – Hudson & Fraley (2015)

   • Developing structured routines – Roberts et al. (2005)

     
     

   C) Ways to improve Extroversion

   • Trying improv or acting classes – Goldin et al. (2012)

   • Introducing yourself to new people – McCabe & Fleeson (2012)

   • Joining group activities (clubs, sports, meetups) – Asendorpf & Wilpers (1998)

   • Befriending extroverts– Nezlek et al. (2002)

     
     

   D) Ways to Improve Disagreeableness (Being more assertive, and boundary-setting)

   • Role-playing assertive responses in social settings – Linehan (1993) (book on DBT, which includes assertiveness training)

   • Strength training & physical posture adjustments (linked to increased self-assertion) – Anderson & Galinsky (2006)

   • Take up a competitive hobby (e.g., martial arts, chess, debate) to build resilience – Zhang et al. (2017)

   • Stand with feet shoulder-width apart and hands at your sides (not crossed) when talking – Carney et al. (2010)

     
     

   or ways to improve Agreeableness (Being more empathic, feeling, emotional available)

   • Practicing gratitude (journaling, expressing thanks) – McCullough et al. (2002)

   • Engaging in loving-kindness meditation – Kok et al. (2013)

   • Doing small acts of kindness (e.g., giving compliments, helping others) – Curry et al. (2018)

   • Sending supportive messages to friends/family – Algoe et al. (2013)

   • Spending more time with warm, friendly people – Zayas et al. (2011)

     
     

   E) And finally, ways to reduce Neuroticism:

   • Gratitude journaling – Writing down things you’re grateful for daily reduces negative emotions.

     • Kerr et al. (2015)

   • Loving-kindness meditation – Practicing compassion-focused meditation lowers anxiety and emotional instability.

     • Kok et al. (2013)

   • Exposure to controlled stress (cold showers, fasting, exercise) – Builds emotional resilience and stress tolerance.

     • Hofmann et al. (2012)

   • Practicing deep breathing techniques (e.g., box breathing, 4-7-8 breathing) – Lowers stress and emotional instability.

     • Zaccaro et al. (2018)

   • Engaging in regular aerobic exercise – Reduces anxiety and emotional volatility over time.

     • Mata et al. (2012)

   • Strength training – Linked to lower levels of neuroticism and improved stress response.

     • Gordon et al. (2018)

   • Limiting social media use – Reduces overthinking, comparison, and emotional instability.

     • Huang (2017)

       
       

Take the First Step Today

The biggest mistake people make?

Waiting to feel ready.

Change happens through action, not thought!

Pick one thing from this article and start today. Whether it’s introducing yourself to someone new, keeping a gratitude journal, or imagining your future self —

The smallest shift can spark a transformation.

What Will You Do Next?

I’d love to hear from you: What personality trait do you most want to change?

Comment below or share your thoughts!